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A better presidential choice?

Posted 17 Sep 2008 in 2008 election, humor

Ok, I’m officially sick of this election. I’m bored with Obama/Biden and Palin/McCain McCain/Pain. And since I’m not irretrievably stupid, there’s no way I can vote for the Libertarian Party’s Bobb Barr/Wayne Allyn Root or the Green Party’s Cynthia McKinney/Rosa Clemente ticket.

I think instead of enabling another cycle of partisan dysfunction, I’m going to write-in a different candidate entirely.

cthulhu-08Cthulhu.

Yes, I know. You’re all out there saying, “But R_V, isn’t Cthulhu a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline with an octopus-like head whose face is a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind? And more importantly, isn’t he evil?”

Well, yeah. But allow me to point to Cthulhu’s campaign slogan: “Why vote for the lesser evil?”

Honestly, is “a pulpy, tentacled head surmounted by a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings” really any worse than the two lame choices with which we’re faced? Plus, check out the Great Old One’s political positions, as listed in his platform.

(Oh, and it should probably be noted that Cthulhu will not have a running mate since he/she would simply be eaten anyway.)

Still not convinced?

Ok then, if voting for a wicked Lovecraftian god doesn’t do it for you, who would be your write-in candidate of choice? Post your ideal ticket in the comments.

Posted by FullMetalPatriot
12th gen. American, Constitutionalist, Harley-riding Texan, gun owner & NRA member, blogger, illustrator, Florida Gator alumnus. #TCOT

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