gp_archives / 2006 / November

Just in time for Christmas!

Posted 30 Nov 2006 in technology

Yes, this is a real item. But Santa may put ya on the “naughty” list if you ask for it. OhMiBod iPod Vibrator Sure, we’ve seen iPod powered vibrators in the past, but this one is different. It will vibrate to the tune of your music. Want something soft and gentle? Load up some Radiohead. Enjoy getting off to metal? Put in some Pantera, you freak. This is more than just a bullet-style vibrator—it is fully insertable for maximum pleasure. They also offer an optional Garter belt for you public pleasure needs. It is currently available for $70 and appears to work with the standard 3.5mm audio jack, so any music playing device would get you off, weirdo.

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Press 1 to suck the blood of America

Posted 29 Nov 2006 in illegal immigration

Have you grown up in America only to be dismayed by now having to “press 1 for English” when calling a business? Does it irritate you to have our native language relegated to optional status? According to Paul Campos, law professor at the University of ColoradoIf, that makes you a well-paid parasite who infests our fabulously wealthy nation. (h/t: Moonbattery) he most significant fact to keep in mind about people who speak Spanish in the United States is this: such people are invariably performing useful labor. In fact, it isn’t too much of an exaggeration to say that the odds a person does the kind of work that simply has to get done in order to keep civilization afloat...

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"Good head" in Japanese and other useful phrases

Posted 29 Nov 2006 in humor

A quick little Japanese tutorial of useful Engrish phrases like “My grandmother gives good head!” (Ok, so it’s an off-color Wednesday. Smile!) And thennnnn…

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My celebrity playlist

Posted 28 Nov 2006 in pop culture

Ok, so I’m no celebrity, but I’ve got a playlist like the rest of ‘em. Yep, Apple’s gonna be putting me on iTunes annnny day now. Whatever. Here’s mine. In no particular order. Track: Ol’ 55Artist: Tom WaitsAlbum: Closing TimeThis one bleeds the sadness and regret of illicit sex & romance. But I love this song because I discovered it at a point in my life when I was finally starting to wake up to the reality of my decisions and the potential to correct them. Track: Bring Me To LifeArtist: EvanescenceAlbum: FallenThis one will always hold a special place for me. It’s symbolic of when I first learned what it could be like to be unconditionally loved. Track:...

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Libs want Saddam!

Posted 27 Nov 2006 in Iraq, liberals, war

Just when I thought Liberals couldn’t get any more deranged, they go and prove me wrong again. LA Times senior editor Jonathan Chait is calling for America to restore Saddam Hussein to power in Iraq. Yes, the deposed dictator who’s been convicted of crimes against humanity and sentenced to hang. That Saddam. The guy who tortured, maimed, and murdered millions of his fellow countrymen. That’s the guy Chait wants back in charge in Iraq. How “progressive!”

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More Dem disrespect for our troops

Posted 27 Nov 2006 in Democrats, Iraq, liberals, military, Nancy Pelosi, stupidity, war

Is this another botched joke? When he’s not insulting Mississippi or calling for a draft to force military service on our young people, Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY) is busy insulting the intelligence at U.S. soldiers. (Hot Air has the video.) Yesterday, the incoming Chairman of the House Ways & Means Committee took to the air on Fox News Sunday to make sure he clarified what Senator John Kerry said about our soldiers a few weeks ago. I want to make it abundantly clear: if there’s anyone who believes that these youngsters want to fight, as the Pentagon and some generals have said, you can just forget about it. No young, bright individual wants to fight just because of a...

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Worst burglar ever!

Posted 27 Nov 2006 in humor, stupidity

As you go back to work today, here’s a little smile for your morning. Because stupid criminals getting their comeuppance is funny.

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Religion of Peace update: Shari’a justice

Posted 26 Nov 2006 in intolerance, Islam, jihadists, Religion of Peace update, Sharia

Saudi Arabia – A Saudi court has sentenced a gang rape victim to 90 lashes of the whip because she was alone in a car with a man to whom she was not married. The sentence was passed at the end of a trial in which the al- Qateef high criminal court convicted four Saudis convicted of the rape, sentencing them to prison terms and a total of 2,230 lashes. The four, all married, were sentenced respectively to five years and 1,000 lashes, four years and 800 lashes, four years and 350 lashes, and one year and 80 lashes. A fifth, married, man who was stated to have filmed the rape on his mobile phone still faces investigation. Two...

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Gators beat FSU. Again!

Posted 25 Nov 2006 in Florida Gators

Oh yes, folks. We’ve beaten them for the third year in a row! And at the home of the Semi-noles, to boot! 21-14 How sweet it is!

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Democrat manifesto revealed!

Posted 22 Nov 2006 in 9/11, abortion, Democrats, dhimmitude, hypocrisy, Iraq, liberals, stem cell research, taxes, war

I knew it! (Shamelessly stolen from The Right Was Right) Now that the election is behind us, and the Democrats control both houses of Congress, there’s no reason not to admit it: the Right was right about us all along. Here is our 25-point manifesto for the new Congress: 1. Mandatory homosexuality 2. Drug-filled condoms in schools 3. Introduce the new Destruction of Marriage Act 4. Border fence replaced with free shuttle buses 5. Osama Bin Laden to be Secretary of State 6. Withdraw from Iraq, apologize, reinstate Hussein 7. English language banned from all Federal buildings 8. Math classes replaced by encounter groups 9. All taxes to be tripled 10. All fortunes over $250,000 to be confiscated 11....

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