«
»

SobekPundit for Pres, part 3

Posted 14 Mar 2006 in conservatism, liberals

Last month, I posted on here about Sobek, who pre-released his “acceptance speech” for President of the United States.

For both Republican AND Democrat parties.

Now he’s added a third party. Those of you who’ve read here long enough prolly know that I lean more toward the Libertarian party on several issues (although I haven’t been able to bring myself to vote for any of their candidates yet). So I was jazzed to see Sobek’s take on that party’s platform: (h/t: The Jawa Report)

My foreign policy will be both consistent and elegant: we don’t care. My conservative opponents will try to smear me, saying I don’t care about homeland security. To them I say, If private, mercenary armies were good enough for Macchiavelli’s Florence, it’s good enough for America. My liberal opponents will try to smear me, saying I don’t care about suffering in the Third World. To them I say, you want to help starving people in Bhutan, I’m not going to stop you (unless you’re in Congress), but don’t expect me to do anything about it. I’ve got a game of Unreal: Tournament to play.

My domestic policy will also be consistent and elegant. Any special interest groups that approach me about economic protectionism, or increasing the welfare state, or federally-funded anything, will be cordially invited to the White House rose garden, where they will be given free marijuana (oh, yeah, I’m getting rid of the roses) until they’re too baked to even think about getting me to do any work. Or, for that matter, too baked to even think.

As an added bonus, once the government is effectively neutralized, political punditry will virtually cease to exist. That means Maureen Dowd will still be a bitter harpy who can’t attract a man to save her miserable life, but at least you won’t be reading about it in the New York Times.

So vote for me, America, as your Libertarian Party candidate! I’ll prove to you just how little I can govern!

Interesting. So are we gonna hear the Green party speech next? Or perhaps Perot’s “Reform” party?

I’m curious to see which party he’ll be stealing votes from…

Posted by FullMetalPatriot
12th gen. American, Constitutionalist, Harley-riding Texan, gun owner & NRA member, blogger, illustrator, Florida Gator alumnus. #TCOT

Leave A Comment