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Sobek for President

Posted 24 Feb 2006 in illegal immigration, liberals

This was too good not to share. (h/t: Six Meat Buffet)

Sobek’s got a brilliant future in politics, regardless of political party. Here’s an excerpt from his DNC Nomination Acceptance speech if he ran as a Pinko-Socialist-Democrat.

On to domestic issues. We cannot allow the Republicans to continue to destroy our economy. Just because Bush gave us ten straight quarters of growth over 3%, and an unemployment rate one quarter that of Germany’s, doesn’t mean American shouldn’t be taxing the crap out of you in a barely-concealed wealth-distribution effort. If unabashed capitalism gave us that kind of growth, just imagine what we could do with hard-core Maoist socialism! We’d be the next Cuba! And they’ve got free health care!!! During the Bush administration, we’ve seen doctors, pharmacists, drug-manufacturers and hospital owners who not only have the gall to stay in this country, drawing a paycheck, but they are still allowed to walk down the street without open mockery and the occasional stoning. Not in my America. Just remember: if a seven-month wait is good enough for a Canadian, it’s good enough for an American. (Incidentally, I’m sure none of you will mind if I just let me wife design the health care system. She’s all kinds of scary-smart).

And now, a brief message to the African-Americans in the audience: eh, I know you’ll vote for me whatever I say, so screw you all. What are you gonna do, vote Republican? I don’t think so. Not if you don’t want Michael Moore to call you a race-traitor, and pelt you with Oreos.

And here’s a snippet of his RNC Nomination acceptance speech if he ran as a Neo-Con-Right-Wing-Extremist-Nazi-Haliburton Republican (hrmm, there seem to be more labels for the Right, huh?).

I know a few professional crybabies out there will complain that I don’t have Constitutional authority to, say, commit massive ground forces Burma just because they insist on being called Myanmar. To them I say, if you can find a Constitutional right to gay sex, I can find pretty much whatever authority I’ll ever need. And then I’ll have those crybabies deported to North Korea. Which I will then bomb.

So much for foreign policy. On to domestic issues. I know that many people are nervous that the Patriot Act might encroach too much on civil liberties. You know what? I don’t care. I’m here to rule you plebes with an iron fist, not give a squirt of piss about your precious little civil liberties. If you’ve got a problem with that, I’ll be more than happy to buy you a plane ticket to Bolivia. Which I will then bomb.

Our borders need to be secured in order to protect American citizens. I vow to increase manpower on our southern border by tripling the number of INS agents. I will make this economically feasible by only hiring illegal immigrants. Anyone who has a problem with that will be stuffed in a bathtub and floated to Cuba. Which I will then bomb.

So who ya gonna vote for in ’08?

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Linked:
dcthornton, Don’t Let Me Stop You, Hans Bricks, The Liberal Wrong Wing, The Real Ugly American, Stop The ACLU

Posted by FullMetalPatriot
12th gen. American, Constitutionalist, Harley-riding Texan, gun owner & NRA member, blogger, illustrator, Florida Gator alumnus. #TCOT

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