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Jack Bauer of the Blogosphere?

Posted 19 Jan 2006 in pop culture, terrorism

I just discovered that I’ve been nominated (by none other than The Unsomnambulist… thank you) for the “Jack Bauer of Blogging” over at the PoliPundit. Too funny! I’m a big fan of the show 24 and love the character so I’m honored to be nominated. Personally, I think Captain Ed, Ace Of Spades or BlackFive make great “Bauers.” Go check out the link and vote in the comments section.

(Just for the record, I’m quite good with my Glock…)

Just who, in the Blogosphere, is our Jack Bauer? Without saying at the start who I think fills the bill, here’s how I see the role:

1. He’s male. Sorry ladies, but this gun-toting, do-what-a-patriot’s-gotta-do guy is focused testosterone. This ain’t Siegfried and Roy, this ain’t Dr. Phil, and any woman pulling the kind of stuff we see Bauer doing in “24″ would look more like “Xena” than a counter-terrorism agent.

2. He’s decisive. No one who can be connected to a focus group or committee need apply.

3. He’s not PC. Bauer does what is required, and is not subtle about it.

4. Despite being violent a lot, Bauer is not crazy or bloodthirsty. He does what is necessary, but holds his fire, and is willing to let even terrorists live if they surrender. That rules out DU or Daily Kos, even if they could accept being on the same side as Bauer.

5. Bauer is in such deep cover, most people think he’s dead. Talk about controlling your ego. That rules out Rush, most talk show hosts and columnists, and anyone who has voluntarily appeared on Leno or Letterman.

6. Bauer knows guns. And uses them often. This rules out anyone from the State Department or the United Nations, or their advocates.

7. Bauer is indestructible. In a previous season, Bauer freaking died, someone got his heart started again and by the end of the episode Bauer was kicking bad guys in the groin as hard as ever.

8. Bauer always knows what’s about to happen. As a result, he has a few seconds to plan his actions, which only appear to be impossible.

9. Bauer trusts the right people. He instinctively knows the traitors and low-lifes, but depends on the ones he knows are stand-up.

10. Bauer gets results. Compromise is useless.

So, with that in mind, who is the Blogosphere’s “Jack Bauer“?

I don’t know if anything’ll come of it, but it sure is fun!

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* Welcome to readers of The Real Ugly American and Politburo Diktat.

UPDATE: Go read this from Banagor about Really Fucking Stupid People. One of the best rants I’ve read in a long time.

UPDATE: Little-known facts about Jack Bauer here. (h/t: Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler)

Posted by FullMetalPatriot
12th gen. American, Constitutionalist, Harley-riding Texan, gun owner & NRA member, blogger, illustrator, Florida Gator alumnus. #TCOT

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