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FullMetalPatriot on Obama Photobombs History
Department of Homeland Lack-Of-Security
I received an email from my best friend Jeff today, in which he detailed a recent experience with some apparent gaps in our “homeland security.”
So I’m going to the airport the other day for a one day trip to Charlotte on business.Instead of parking in the regular parking garages, which straddle the airport and are located (strategically) close to the baggage claims, I decided to park on the “terminal – top” parking, which is the parking garage for the hotel located in the dead center of the airport, and located right atop the airport. This is more convenient for people without any bags to check, and quicker in and out of the terminal.
There’s 9 levels of parking above the main terminal, like I said, it’s the dead center of the airport complex, very near to the control tower.
I go up to level 9, cuz all the lots are “FULL”.
I park, take my day bag and head to the elevators, which are located near the edge of the parking garage.
As I approach, I see 10 – 15 guys hangin out. Some are holding high-powered binoculars, some are holding telescopes (and let me tell you that telescopes are long, cylindrical tubes, just like the ones that often rest on the shoulder, where small bombicular smokeriffic fasty finnicular things tend to come out of), some are holding two-way radios (not the Best Buy kinds, more like the police-type), some are taking notes in tiny notepads from the guys with high powered binoculars, some are taking pictures with 35mm-ish cameras attached to huge telephoto lenses.
Hairs on Jeff’s neck get a bit prickly.
At first I’m thinking they’re a security detail, as if for some arriving or departing dignitary. But these folks don’t look security-type. They’re too frumpy and killjoy — overweight, dressed touristy, and not at all trying to hide what they’re doing, other than giving me a “whut-r-u-lookin-at-bub?” look.
“So, w-w-what’r we doin’ today fellers?” I ask, pushing the button on the elevator, making sure I can get out of there quickly.
“Nuthin” one of them says in a very smart-ass voice. Thick british accent.
“What’re we lookin for?” I say, deliberately nosey, to the guy who’s taking notes with a pencil in a small spiral bound notebook.
“oh everfing and anyfing” he says, again very smart-ass.
“kool!” I say, as the doors close.
So I go and find the first TSA agent.
I dunno what TSA stands for, but they’re a helluva lotta these guys that never used to hang around, and I assume that they’re being paid for by my “9/11″ fee.
These guys seem to be focused around baggage handling, as there’s a bunch of these new X-ray devices that are out on the main floor. I saw this as a blatant attempt to use reverse-scare tactics to potential terrorists, or else try to placate the public by an overt display of increased security. SURELY these guys and this equipment could have been placed behind the scenes, but it’s so pathetically clear that they’re showing all of us sheep-to-the-terrorist-slaughter that our airlines are now safe.
Ennyhoo, I go up to a pair of these dolts and explain the situation.
“There’s a bunch of dudes on the 9th floor terminal top parking looking out with binoculars…etc., etc.”
Dolt#1: “What, I never heard of that before!!”
Dolt#2: “Oh yeah, they’re a club. We’ve had lots of complaints. They’re plane-spotters. They just track the planes and their tail numbers”Me(with a look of incredulity on my face):”MMMREALLY, now!! We’ll aint that special!…Uhm…ever think that a tad bit over-the-line in regards to ‘Homeland Security’ n such???”
Dolt#2:”Sorry sir, nuthin we can do”
Dolt#1:”myeah, there’s nuthin we can do ’bout it”Me(to Dolt#1):”!!! Waitaminnit! A second ago, you didn’t know these folks existed. Now you’re convinced there’s nothing you can do?!?”
Dolt#2:”Well, it aint our jurisdiction…. y’see, yah need to talk to Orlando Aviation Authority… THEY’RE in charge of the actual SECURITY of the airport”
Me:”Y’know, didn’t any of you folks see that 20/20 thing on how we really effed up on 9/11 because the agencies didn’t talk to each other?!? Didn’t that get resolved even at the AIRPORTS?! Y’know, the place where the terrorists ACTUALLY TARGETED on 9/11?!?!”
(no real response).
So I go to the Orlando Aviation Authority, and there’s a very hot young hispanic-looking receptionist woman with very long fingernails that have some very expensive looking design painted on them. The lobby of the place is very modern, looking like the floor display to an IKEA retail store. A flat screen TV on the wall is blaring “the Young and the Restless” soap opera at volume 10 (of 10). It was probably supposed to be playing ads for the Aviation Authority, but because the day was slow, the receptionist wanted to watch the soap.
Over the TV, I tell her the long story, including the story of talking to the TSA guys. I told her that even though I was told that these guys were part of the “plane-spotter club”, that I thought it was rather unusual and unsettling, and I wanted some sort of explanation as to how they can let these bozos hang around at one of the top 5 busiest friggin international airports in the country with long tubes, high power binoculars, high power cameras, two-way radios, and notebooks. I swear, up to this point, I’m reasonably calm and collected.
However, things start to change as Ms. 18 to 22 year-old receptionist responds to me, not even making prolonged eye-contact: “well, did you ask to see their permits? You know, you have to be proactive!”
I said, now getting hot:”What, now I’M the policeman? I thought this was YOUR job! Hey look, I’m all for the 1st amendment, and freedom of assembly and all that ["crap" - I was trying hard to keep it clean], but what about ‘War on Terror’? What about all the securities set up all around the airport where I can’t take pictures, can’t take lighters, can’t take nailclippers, and can’t hang around the baggage unloading zone??” [as if a terrorist is going to attack at the UNLOADING zone]
Furthermore, “I think it’s a mockery of the security system. In my opinion the entire presence of all the TSA guys is totally negated by the unsettling presence of these wierdos looking out from the most strategic, most critical part of the airport! If I was a terrorist, ‘Plane-spotter local 303 – Orlando Airport patrol’ would be a GREAT club to join!!”
Expectedly uncaring, fingernail-chick sez: “wanna file a complaint?”
“Damn straight!” I said.
I get a one-page mimeograph-lookin paper that has about 8 lines on it, spaced about 3/4″ apart (EZ-3rd-grade-ruled), and at a slight angle because the original was slightly askew in the copy machine. It has “oh-yeah-this-is-a-goin-right-in-file-13″ written all over it.
“Mind if I turn [this G*d D**n] TV down a bit while I fill this out?” I say.
Without an answer, I turned the thing totally off. I get a look-of-death from Fingernail chick, although I know she won’t do anything, because she’s too lazy to get up and turn it back on. It’s not worth her aggravation.
So I fill out the form, going on to the back of the page, even going so far as to make suggestions:
1. How about making an observation deck, where folks can plane-spot to their heart’s content, under the eye of SOME sort of monitoring system (whether by signing a log, or having a camera on these guys), and have them out of the way of us travelers who are really interested in not becoming Bomb-food.
2. How about we DON’T LET GUYS HANG OUT TAKING PICTURES AND DETAILED NOTES ON PLANE INFORMATION IN THE AIRPORT, USING TWO-WAY RADIOS AND NICE LONG TUBULAR TELESCOPES!!I handed in my diatribe, where I’m sure it went right to the shredder.
I also called the local news (although I shoulda called Fox News), and they weren’t interested at all.
btw, I went back up to the 9th floor, and asked if they had a permit. Of course they said no. I did get some pictures using my camera phone. Get a load of this….
Posted by FullMetalPatriot
12th gen. American, Constitutionalist, Harley-riding Texan, gun owner & NRA member, blogger, illustrator, Florida Gator alumnus. #TCOT
12th gen. American, Constitutionalist, Harley-riding Texan, gun owner & NRA member, blogger, illustrator, Florida Gator alumnus. #TCOT
